Kappa Kung Pao Chicken

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Everybody has their favorite 2 am Chinese place. You know, the place that you would never go within a 100 yards of sober. After failing to land your four different dream girls at the bar, sometimes a little questionable Chinese food is in order. You might regret it the next morning, but that General Tso’s “chicken” tasted like the best thing you’ve ever had last night.

The problem is there is no Chinese food in town you would ever eat in a semi-functional state. Well now you can simply do it yourself. Kung Pao Chicken is a Chinese favorite and an awesome dinner. Before no time you’ll be using that wok like a pro. Maybe you can even use your new cooking ability as a pick up line at the bar. Sorority girls love drunk Chinese food too.


2 large chicken breasts cut into small pieces
3 Tablespoons of soy sauce
2 Tablespoons of sesame oil
2 Tablespoons of corn starch combined with 2 Tablespoons of water
2 Tablespoon of hot chili paste or Sriracha
1 teaspoon of white vinegar
1 teaspoon of sugar
1 Tablespoon of vegetable oil
1 cup of broccoli cut into smaller pieces
1 cup of red bell pepper cut into medium sized pieces
1/2 of a medium sized onion
3 cloves of garlic
4 scallions (spring onions)
a handful of crushed peanuts


1. Combine 2 Tablespoons of soy sauce, 1 Tablespoon sesame oil, 1 Tablespoon hot chili paste, and 1 Tablespoon of cornstarch and water mixture. Mix together in a resealable bag or a glass dish with a cover and add the chicken.

2. Place in the refrigerator and let sit for 30 minutes.


1. In a small bowl or solo cup combine 1 Tablespoon soy sauce, 1 Tablespoon of sesame oil, 1 Tablespoon cornstarch/water mixture, chili paste, vinegar, 2 cloves of garlic, half the peanuts, and sugar. 

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2. Pour mixture into a skillet and turn the flame to a low heat. When the sauce starts congealing add water so it is not too thick. Let cook until aromatic.

The picture below is what it will look like if it gets too thick. Have a cup of water available and use a small amount at a time if you want to make the sauce thinner. If it starts congealing too much, turn down the flame to a lower level.

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3. In a wok, heat up 1 Tablespoon of vegetable oil to high heat. Take the chicken out of the fridge and add it to the wok with the last clove of garlic. Cook until the outside of the chicken is browned, about 5 minutes.

4. Add the vegetables to the wok, cook another 5 minutes until the vegetables are soft. At this point the chicken should be cooked through as well.

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5. Add the sauce to the wok. Cook for two minutes and add additional peanuts. The longer you cook the thicker the sauce will be.

6. Serve over rice and enjoy. Also, appreciate the fact that you can actually see what’s going into your dish. Trust me, its a good thing.


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