Pad Thai

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Ah Thailand. The land of red bull buckets, knockoff ray-bans and lady boys. Where adventure is always around the corner…or someone trying to sell you an “authentic” Rolex for just $20. You’ve seen some things you can never un-see and wish you hadn’t, but you’re definitely going to tell everybody about it. After exploring the country for a couple weeks with your bros, you still have a hunger for more of this strange land. Well there’s an easy way to make the same delicious pad thai you got in Thailand. Yes, the same pad thai you got drunk off a street cart in Phuket that would easily receive a D health rating in America. 


1/4 packet of thin rice noodles
large chicken breast cut into small pieces
3 cloves of garlic smashed
2 Tablespoons of vegetable oil
1 egg
1/2 yellow onion minced
1/2 cup of broccoli
3 Tablespoons of soy sauce
2 Tablespoons of oyster sauce
1 Tablespoon of fish sauce
1/4 cup of water (for cooking noodles if necessary)
3 stalks of scallions (spring onions) cut about an inch long
1/4 container of tofu (optional)
bean sprouts (optional)
chili paste (optional)
crushed peanuts (optional)


1. Begin by soaking the rice noodles in warm water. This will soften the noodles when it comes time to cook them in the wok.

2. After cutting up your ingredients, heat the oil in a wok on high heat. Add the chicken and garlic. Cook until the chicken is browned on the outside, which should take no longer than 5 minutes. Since the pieces of chicken are small, it will cook fast and the additional time in the wok will cook it through.

3. Push all the food to the side of the wok and crack an egg on the empty area. Scramble the egg and then add it with the rest of the food. After add the onions, broccoli, and bean sprouts. Cook for 2 minutes until soft.

4. Add the soy sauce, oyster sauce, and fish sauce. Chili paste may also be added for additional spiciness. Mix all the ingredients for 30 seconds and then add the noodles that were soaking.

5. This is the tricky part. Cook the noodles in the wok until they are soft. This might take additional water in order to get the noodles to the ideal texture. Add a little water at a time and test the noodles. The process can take from 2 to 5 minutes depending how long your noodles soaked for. Turn off the heat when the noodles are soft.

6. Add in the scallions. Serve and top with peanuts.

7. Show off all your pictures riding elephants to your buddies. Discuss pros and cons of getting a live elephant for you next social (hint: there are no cons).


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