Today has been a good day for you. You crushed your presentation about indigenous cultures in Australia despite never opening the $150 textbook. You aced the test you’ve been studying for all week. By “study” I mean you already had all the answers from the fraternity test bank. Time to kick back and crush a couple Nattys. Wait! Isn’t Kappa Delta’s formal tonight? And the pregame starts at 8?? You haven’t eaten all day and there’s no time for delivery! Grab your wok and get cooking. This stir fry will take no time at all. With some food, maybe you won’t get kicked out of formal before you even enter (unlike last time when they didn’t let you in after you tried to use the giant vases in the lobby as a bathroom.)
2 Tablespoons of vegetable oil
1 large chicken cutlet cut into small pieces
1/2 yellow or red onion cut in lines
3 cloves of garlic minced
1 stalk of scallions
1 cup of rice
2 cups of water
4 Tablespoons soy sauce
2 Tablespoons BBQ sauce
1 Tablespoon Sriracha (or more for your desired level of spiciness)
1 clove of minced garlic
1. Begin by cooking the rice. Place 1 cup of rice and 2 cups of water in a pot. Bring to a boil and then cover and simmer for 12 minutes. After, remove from heat and let stand for 5 minutes.
2. Simultaneously, pour the oil into the wok and heat on high heat. Add the chicken and garlic once the oil is hot enough. Cook for 6 minutes or until the outside of chicken is browned.
3. Add the rest of the vegetables and cook with chicken and garlic for 4 minutes. Any vegetables can be used in the stir fry; it’s really your preference.
4. Combine the sauce ingredients, pour into the stir fry and reduce the heat so that the liquid is simmering. Simmer for around 2 minutes.
5. Serve your stir fry over rice.
6. Go make a fool of yourself at formal, but remember slightly more than last year.